I’ve spent most of my adult life pushing through. As a leader in a consulting firm, I saw how perseverance was currency—that grinding through separated those perceived as committed from the mediocre. Deadlines, challenges, difficult conversations? Just power through. We wore this like a badge of honor, proof of our fortitude and dedication. And honestly, this approach served me well in many ways. It’s helped me build a business, support clients, and deliver when it mattered most.

Yet somewhere along the way, pushing through stopped being a choice and became my M.O. I became addicted to the adrenalized state—the rush of urgency, the feeling of being indispensable, the high (and numbing) of constant motion. My body would signal fatigue, my mind would feel scattered, but I’d override those cues and keep going. Sound familiar?

If you’re nodding your head, you’re not alone. Many of us learned to push through because it works—until it doesn’t. We were rewarded for it, promoted for it, praised for it. Of course it became our default.

Here’s what shifted for me: recognizing that I had a choice. For years, I believed I had no option. It was expected, even required of me—by my role, my clients, my organization, even my family. In reality, I was often choosing it, largely unconsciously. Once I saw that, I could start to choose differently, at least sometimes.

A client recently confided that she felt guilty taking vacation. As we explored what was really happening, she recognized that for her, it was a need to be needed, to be perceived as the hero. There was no judgment in this recognition—just awareness.

So how do we shift? Gently. First, simply notice the pattern without self-criticism. Second, practice discernment with kindness toward yourself. Ask: Is this moment truly requiring me to push through, or am I feeding an old habit? Finally, experiment with small acts of rest and renewal. These aren’t indulgences. They’re how we sustain our capacity to lead well over time.

The paradox? Sometimes the most courageous thing we can do is stop pushing and allow ourselves to restore.