I often facilitate forums in which leaders and teams explore trust. While helping organizations understand trust dynamics, I’ve observed that most people intuitively understand what builds—and busts—trust. And most of us know from experience how hard it is to regain trust that has been broken.

I serve on a board for a non-profit organization that has experienced significant upheaval, like many of your organizations. During a recent retreat, our Board worked with a seasoned board consultant to explore trust and its repair. For me, it was an opportunity to gain a new perspective on a crucial issue.

To that end, we worked in pairs to explore working relationships where trust existed, was broken, and restored. My partner and I identified several insights:

• First, we had to trust ourselves—that what we need has value.
• We acknowledged that repairing trust is messy and uncomfortable. It requires courage, risk-taking, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
• Repairing trust was more successful when we dug deep and identified our role in the trust relationship. (We always have a role.)
• We spoke our truth without fault or blame.
• We accepted that there are multiple truths. We asked and truly listened to the other person’s perspective. The more we let go of “right and wrong,” the more successful the repair.
• When on the receiving end of rebuilding trust, we listened without defending. We validated the other person’s experience as true for them. When possible, we made amends.
  
  

Our list reminded me of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Framework and its role for repair situations. I don’t love NVC for all difficult conversations at work, but it is a helpful framework for engaging in messy, vulnerable conversations like repairing trust at work and throughout our lives. NVC lays out how to self-reflect and have conversations that create connections that meet everyone’s needs. That is to say, we communicate and express our observations, feelings, needs and requests. Check it out below.

Where is trust broken in your life and how might you step into it?